found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
