Your face is a jimmy john
I wish I could teleport
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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