i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
