I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
