South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
