"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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