Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
