it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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