can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
