i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
