I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
