I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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