guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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