Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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