So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
