He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
