This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
