She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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