Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
