therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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