I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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