i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
