He asked to "fluff my boner.."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
