Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize
