Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The uberlube is also flammable
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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