i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
