He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
