Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
