Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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