Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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