But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
