Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
