i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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