4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
