It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
