After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
