he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
