made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm too high and old for this...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
