hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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