Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
