We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
