what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
