Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Boobs are out for the taking
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
