I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
