I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
