wat bout pragnant strippers??
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
