My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
