K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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