i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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