another moral hangover. fuck.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
